I’ve been playing soccer now for about 17-18 years (there’s an ongoing debate on if I was 3 or 4 when I started). The point is though, that’s a long time. That’s basically my entire life. I started watching soccer like the day I was born basically, and grew up at the fields. Dad was coaching or Zac, my older brother, was playing. That’s just how life was, life was at the soccer fields. Whether I started playing at 3 or 4 years old, I started playing before I was coordinated enough to even run 20 years without tripping over myself.
17 years is a long time. For parents, it’s like working at one company for 17 years. For other young adults and adolescents, that’s longer than we all went through grade school. For 17 years my life has been soccer. That means that it hasn’t been just playing with a bow in my hair at the park down the street with girls I go to school with. It wasn’t paying $20 for a pair of cleats and kicking the ball as hard as I can. Whether or not my parents liked it or even knew about it, soccer was my #1 priority my whole life. I would get checked out of school for a tournament, I would not do my school assignments until after practice, or not at all if I passed out right after my shower, I thought, dreamt, slept, breathed, loved soccer.
When we dedicate that much time, energy, and passion into something, it becomes part of our identity. It’s a part of who we are. Part of who I am and who I will always be will be soccer. The teams I played on, the girls I played with, the jerseys I wore, the schools and clubs I represented, and the passion I have in my heart.
I realized this past year that I put so much of myself and my identity into soccer that that’s where I put my value. I put my value as a player, and as a person, into my playing time, into what my coaches said to me, into what my coaches thought of me, into my last pass or into my last touch on the ball. I put all of my value into things that are temporary. I put my worth into worldly things and people when those aren’t things that last.
What I’ve realized is that my value doesn’t come for my coaches or my teammates or even me as a player, but my value comes from Jesus. My playing time doesn’t define my value. My athleticism doesn’t define my value. My coaches comments to me or about me do not give or take away from my value. Whether or not I get 10 minutes or 90 minutes of playing time during a game doesn’t determine how much I am glorifying Jesus. Playing on the field isn’t my one way to glorify Jesus and it has taken me a lifetime to realize that. If I’m not on the field, moping and being sad about it is not glorifying Jesus. But if I can encourage my team and love on them while they’re on the field, I think that’s glorifying Jesus more than sulking because I’m not on the field and they are.
At the end of the day, I love my team and I want success for my team so much more than I want success for just myself. I believe fully that Jesus places us in the places where we can succeed and the places where we belong. So maybe some games I belong on the field 90 minutes, maybe some games I belong on the field 15 minutes, and maybe some games I belong on the sideline cheering my team on as they put their hearts out on the field.
Either way, no matter what, I am choosing to glorify Jesus instead of trying to glorify myself, on the field, on the sideline, and in every way that I can. I don’t play soccer because my coaches put a passion for the game in me. That passion didn’t come from anyone but myself. I have a passion and a love for this beautiful game because God made me a soccer player. And I just hope that I glorify Him to the best of my abilities in this last season.