Last night I got to go to a wedding celebrating two of my good friends that I’ve met while I’ve been at Wake Forest. It was absolutely beautiful and so much fun, if you know who Lexi and Caleb are, you know how easy it is to celebrate them.
I love getting dressed up sometimes and being creative putting my clothes together. I am a strong believer in “look good, feel good, play good,” so I like to love what I’m wearing and feel good in it and have a ton of fun! BUT, picking out clothes with type 1 diabetes is more than just colors and patterns.
Thinking about where I’m going to put my pump is a thought every time I get dressed. It’s a thought before I buy anything in the store and especially online. If I don’t think there’s anywhere to hide my pump, it’s outta the picture. So here’s where I usually keep mine when I’m not just lounging around the house.
I actually went to a wedding back in August and had picked out the midi dress to wear. My plan was to clip my pump to my bra or spandex for the wedding. The day before the wedding, my clip BROKE! I wasn’t at home or even in my home state, so I began to panic about how I was going to deal with my pump and hide it. Quick tip: dress with pockets are great because you can run the pump from under your arm to the pocket and it’s somewhat noticeable but not bad with clear tubing. However, I was trying to figure out how to secure this thing to my body for dancing but also be able to get insulin for dinner without clipping it anywhere. I thought that if I compressed the pump somewhere, it could at least be safe. I really didn’t want to use plastic wrap, but thankfully, I’ve been kickboxing lately and had some wrist wraps in my car. I legitimately put my pump against my chest and used my kickboxing wrist wrap to secure my pump to my body. It worked, but thankfully my new clip was waiting for me at home on Monday.
The easiest place to keep my pump is in the back pocket of my pants. If I’m just going to a dinner or lunch date with my friends and I can wear jeans and a nice top, that’s my go to just so that my pump is hidden but also easily accessible. Most of the time when I pull my pump out, people think it was my phone! Which also, phones haven’t been that thick since the 90s, but I’ll take it. The biggest struggle with this is keeping the tubing under a belt so it doesn’t get caught and then tucked in my pants so that it isn’t poking out weird in my shirt.
When dressing to teach or for a presentation or an interview, I typically wear dress pants. Of note, women’s dress pants are dumb. Plain and simple. The pockets on those things aren’t even real pockets! They are just made to look like pockets but they aren’t functional at. all. So there goes my back pocket idea. For dress pants, I really have two options. I have a clip on the back of my pump, so sometimes depending on the pair of pants, I clip the pump to the front side of my pants with the pump facing my body so it digs into my skin rather than sticking out in front of my pants. This s=isn’t the most comfortable, but I can usually get away with it and no one noticing. Plus again, easy access if necessary. If it’s too uncomfortable to clip my pump on my pants, I pretty much also buy flow shirts so that worst case, I can clip my pump on the front center or not he side of my bra. These places are more comfortable but harder in that the tubing is more difficult to control and it’s not as accessible if you need it for whatever reason.
I’ll be honest. Any type of top that is sheer or tight or cropped gives me anxiety. Not from a body image perspective but from the idea that everyone will see my infusion site and/or my continuous glucose monitor (CGM). I don’t like when people think I’m fragile. And when they can see my diabetes, they stare. Or they’re worried to touch or bump into my sites. So this isn’t even about my pump, but it’s an awareness I have of everyone’s eyes around my and what their eyes are saying.
Dresses and skirts are a whole other beast. I have a rule that if I don’t have pants pockets, one half of my outfit has to be loose and flowy at least. If the top is fitted, the bottom has to be flowy or vice versa. With dresses and skirts I feel like I have 3 options. What I did last night with my flowy dress was I wore some of my soccer sliders/spandex under my dress and just clipped my pump there with the body of the pump facing me. So it was tucked in the spandex. This is optimal to me because I can just pull my dress up and enter my carbs for dinner and cake, and because of the flowy-ness, no one can tell where my pump is. This is more comfortable than the dress pants because well for one, spandex are just more comfortable in general, but also, your girl loves to dance, so my pump isn’t really digging into me at all. Another option is what I described with a top before to hook it on the front or side of my bra. For the same reasons, this is discreet, but not as accessible or easy to get to my pump for insulin or anything else. The last option I have, I actually recently bought a couple of months ago from Medtronic. It’s a garter with a pocket for my pump. So I can put my pump in the pocket and then attach the garter as a whole to my upper thigh and then it’s not noticeable at all! My only problem with this was access and having to go to the bathroom to get to my pump any time I wanted or needed to and I also am still getting used to feeling my pump almost wiggle as I walk and not being nervous that its going to come out, but a great option for hiding the pump!
So there are options, but if you can’t tell here, it’s a decision and a thought process every day. I’m a proud diabetic, but I’m proud when people don’t know I’m diabetic from looking at me. Thinking through al the hacks of how to hide my pump but be able to get to it easily has been a difficult thing. Being incredibly nervous and scared and embarrassed trying to hide it under my prom dress. Or being terrified during my grad school interviews that my pump would go off while attached to my bra during an interview and weirdly and awkwardly hitting the ok button on my chest while the professor talked to me felt like I would get a rejection letter right then and there. I always ask before I go anywhere special if anyone can see my pump before I leave my house. With my tricks, it’s at least 95% of the time a no and my friends ask where it is. But, if you’re struggling with this, let me know. It’s still a struggle and something I hate dealing with, but it can be overcome.
Talk to you tomorrow,
HP