March 6th was the last day of in-person school before Spring Break, during which the university shut down for the rest of the semester. Before my students left for Spring Break, I had a conversation with them about the possibilities of closing as the university hadn’t said anything but schools were beginning to close across the country. I was actually on my way to a wedding in south Alabama, eating at an Olive Garden with my dad the next Wednesday when we got the email that we wouldn’t go back to being in-person.
I got back home to Winston Salem on Monday, March 16. I didn’t go inside of a building until April 29th after I defended my thesis and had to clean out my office. I didn’t go inside of a grocery store until last week because I had to move in with my parents for a little bit and there is no delivery service at their grocery store.
I watched as my friends continued to have parties the first few weeks of the shut down, I watched my friends find any excuse to go out and be around other people. And I get it. I bet at some point, probably many times, we’ve all said something like, “Gosh, I’m not sure how long I can do this,” and yet I’ve watched some people cave to this thought and some people find it in themselves to do the hard, not fun thing.
As the country has opened back up, I’ve watched my friends and loved ones jump in the car and head straight to the beach, race to the bars and restaurants, and be confused, disappointed, and hurt when I don’t join them.
As someone with an autoimmune disease, I don’t view wearing a mask as an option, an accessory, or a joke, for myself or for you. As someone who is high-risk for reasons completely out of my control, it’s hurtful to watch people I love and care about not do the bare minimum so that we can all safely hang out and do fun things together at the soonest time possible. As someone who has been in almost complete quarantine for 3 1/2 months, it’s hard for me to hear you say you just couldn’t bare to not go out any longer. Because truly, you could have.
As cases continue to rise, it’s hard for me to understand that you are able to rationalize going out, having parties, living ‘normal’ life even though you have no idea the amount of people you could be putting at risk. Because the people at the grocery store not wearing a mask, they have no idea that I’m at a high-risk, but they’ve made a choice for themselves and for me.
When you don’t wear a mask, I hear you saying that your slight discomfort is more important than my life.
When you don’t wear a mask, I hear you saying that you don’t care about anyone but yourself and your own personal risk.
When you don’t wear a mask, I hear you saying that you will feel nor accept any responsibility for you exposing others even though it is your choice.
When you throw a party with a bunch of people who have been all over town, I hear that one party is more important than the several lives you could impact without your thought or consideration.
When the federal government gives no overarching rules and leaves it to state and local governments to handle even though travel and the crossing of state borders is occurring, I hear that we are a selfish nation that is incompetent and is lacking leadership.
I, in no way, am minimizing the annoyance, frustration, and discomfort of wearing a mask, quarantining, and social distancing. Honestly, it sucks a lot.
But what I am doing is saying that those things are smaller than peoples’ lives. I am saddened that people I know, love, and care about are not willing to deal with discomfort if it means that more people can live.
I also believe that at some point, every person, or the grand majority of people, will be exposed to the coronavirus. And I am so glad that not everyone will have a bad case, and happier that some people will not even have symptoms at all. But I do know that for myself and so many others, that it’s unlikely that will happen. Hospitalization is very likely, heightened symptoms will likely occur, but my goal is for this to happen when the hospital is not at or almost at full capacity so that it will not cost me my life to get groceries, go to work, etc.
So from someone who had no control over the unfortunate circumstance of getting an autoimmune disease that makes it more likely that I will contract the coronavirus and then more likely to have worse symptoms with the coronavirus, please do the bare minimum. Please wear a mask, please consider that your decisions are affecting so many more people than just yourself, please know that we all want to go back to normal so stay home when you can, please socially distance, please don’t make excuses for yourself, please make decisions that allow the most people to live.
With love and hope,
HP