One of the things special to the freshmen at Berry College is the first year seminar class everyone is required to take, and it is referred to as BCC 100 by the student body. One of my most recent assignments for my BCC class was to write a paper explaining to the professor our experience so far at Berry. It was not until I sat down to write this paper that I realized how much my life has changed in these first couple months here.
Starting off my college experience in a boot and on crutches made me wonder if my life would ever change from what it was in high school. I was scared about not being with my friends, I was scared about not being within the white cinder blocks of Thompson High School that I had once spent daydreaming of leaving, and I was scared I had not made the right choice of where to go. I was in pain from my torn ligaments and worried I would have to go home for too long of a period and I would inevitably fail out of school before I was even able to complete my first semester of college. From the first week of classes, I realized that I was no longer one of the top in my class, in fact, everyone here had once been in the top of their class. I was no longer one of the hardest working players, because every player on the team had worked hard to play college soccer.
But thinking back now on all of that, and thinking about this second I’m in right now, never in my life have I struggled so much, yet been so happy at the same time. I spend hours upon hours studying every night, many going into the next morning, and yet I’m happy. I’m making lower grades than ever before, and working harder for those than I ever had, and yet I’m still happy. I attend ever soccer practice and every game, and am unable to play, but I’m still happy.
Never in my life have I ever felt lucky, and yet I stare into some blue, green eyes everyday, and I wonder how I got so blessed to meet such an amazing person. I’ve never met anyone who I thought was too good for me, and yet everyday I think about how he could have the world if he just asked. He holds my hand and I feel like the world can throw anything at me, but ‘ll still have someone by my side. He wraps his long arms around me and I feel safe and comfortable in the world.
Sometimes I sit at practice, or I sit in D-Hall with my team, and I think about how each and every other girl on the team came form a different place. They all came from a different school with a different team, and different friends, and they all came to Berry, just like me, wondering if they made the right choice. They all had a life before this. Each person I’ve met has left a life they once knew full of friendships, relationships, teammates, homemade dinner at the table with their family, pets, and memories from the house they grew up in. Every person has left something they may love more than anything in the world, and they have left something they’ve been waiting to be away form for years. Every one I know now has left everything they have ever known, and now we all know each other, writing this whole new chapter in our lives together.
I’ve just never been so sure about something in my life before. I’m the person who never really cares where we eat or what we do on a date, just because I can never make a decision. So, you can imagine what I THOUGHT choosing a college would be like. But from the second I drove on Berry’s campus, I knew I wanted to go to school here. It would’ve been so easy to change my own mind and go to South Alabama, being in the same state as my home, and with many people I’ve grown up with. And the first couple weeks here, I thought maybe that’s what I should’ve done. But, thank goodness I followed my heart. I’ve never felt so right before. With the right team, the right friends, the right guy, and the right school. My entire environment is everything I’ve ever wanted.
So far, college is hard, and full of breakdowns wondering if I’m going to fail out. College is eating too much all the time, and spooning out peanut butter when you realize you have no money. College is staying up all hours of the night for one homework assignment, every night of the week. But college is also struggling together with people who have your back. And college is waking up every morning, with only a few hours of sleep, and looking forward to doing it again. College is having fun and struggling and loving life and wondering what your future holds all at the same time.
That’s just what college is like for me… So far.