To The Boy Who Left Me For Another Girl

To the Boy Who Left Me For Another Girl

I dated this guy my whole freshman year of college, and recently he broke up with me because he wanted to try things out with his ex-girlfriend. Of course, I was destroyed. I couldn’t eat, or sleep. I couldn’t fathom the thought of him driving to go visit her, or the thought of her going to visit him, doing the same things that we had done, staying in the same room I had. Recently though, I’ve had a lot of time to just think about things, and there are some things I want to say:

I pray that you never feel the way you have made me feel.
I hope you never have to realize that feeling alone isn’t the worst feeling, it’s feeling as though you’re being forgotten by the one you can’t forget. I pray that you never feel that you’re not good enough, that even though you gave someone your whole heart and loved them unconditionally, it wasn’t enough for them. I hope you never have to stop a workout because your body doesn’t have enough nutrients to do it. I pray that you never lay in bed and the only thing you feel are the tears running down your cheeks. I hope you never have your trust crushed and feel as though you’ll never trust anyone enough again. I pray that you never feel unloved, crushed, and/or destroyed by someone you once loved with everything in the world.

Thank you for turning my insecurities into securities.
Our entire relationship, I was worried about this ex-girlfriend. She would keep in touch with you saying how much she missed you and hoped you were happy. It seemed that all the boys thought she was so pretty. So I was always worried that one day you would wake up and you would think that you could just go and have her back, and you would think that she was prettier, skinnier, better. And one day, I guess you did. But through this, I have realized, I never should’ve been worried about her, or about anyone else. Not because you chose me, or whatever, but because what seems to make her feel beautiful, is not what I find beautiful for myself. I don’t want to wear pounds of make-up, I don’t want to look like I need a burger and an extra side of fries, and I don’t ever want to come between two people. If that is what makes her feel beautiful, I’m all for it, truly! Good for her! But I like looking like it took 5 minutes to get ready because it usually does, and I like looking like I play soccer because I do, and I like that I love who I have surrounded myself with because I don’t have to go searching anywhere for anyone else to fill in gaps. I shouldn’t have ever worried about what makes her feel beautiful, or what you think is beautiful even, because what’s most important is that I feel beautiful everyday with who I am.

I hope you find a girl that makes you the happiest guy in the world.
I hope that you find a girl one day that makes you wonder how a guy could ever leave her. I hope that you find a girl that makes you never even question giving up because no fight, no disagreement stands up against your love. I hope that on the days that are stressful at work, the house is a mess, the laundry isn’t done, you find someone who brings a smile to your face and makes you laugh. I hope you find a girl that makes you feel the way that you made me feel.

Thank you for making my freshman year amazing.
Graduating high school and going to the school of my dreams was the best thing that ever happened to me. From the day I met you, there wasn’t another one that passed that I didn’t want to be with you. I loved meeting your friends and your teammates and making them some of my friends too. I loved going to your house and visiting your amazing family and neighbors. I loved the lazy nights of watching Netflix and lying in bed under the covers. I loved going out to friends’ houses and laughing the night away, not caring what troubles the next day would bring. I loved dancing in my dorm with you before semi-formal. I loved introducing you to God’s beverage on this Earth- coffee. I loved making you dinner, helping with your laundry and helping with your homework. I loved picking out your outfits and shopping with you. I loved going to all of your baseball games- even the miserably cold ones. I loved listening to you talk about the weather. I loved listening to your laugh, and how it felt when you grabbed my hand. I loved hearing your voice when I answered the phone when you got off work. I loved watching you be with your friends. I loved looking at you, looking back at me and smiling. I loved driving to find snow and finding new places to eat. I loved supporting you, adventuring with you, and loving you.

Thank you for opening my world to other possibilities.
Thank you for exposing me to a family who has stuck together after the fights and the arguments. Thank you for showing me that some extended families are really close and they work to stay in touch with one another. Thank you for showing me that love can be a beautiful thing, even if it hurts sometimes, and even if it’s hard sometimes. Thank you for lighting a match for me in what turned out to be a wonderful relationship with God. You showed me that living in this world is not hard with some glimpses of a good life, but it’s a good life, full of love, laughter, and joy as long as you wither some storms.