November 24, 2019: Today’s Workout

Because of how my schedule was today, I got to go home and eat lunch, go to a doctor’s appointment, and then go workout late afternoon rather than closer to dinner time.

When I was leaving my house after lunch to go to the doctor, my blood sugar was 152. Higher than normal, but I had pasta for lunch so I thought it’s fine I just ate quite a bit of carbs in comparison to normal.

When I was leaving the doctor about an hour later, my blood sugar was 76. Because I was going to the gym, I went ahead and suspended my delivery in hopes that it would increase by the time I got to the gym.

When I got to the gym, my blood sugar was 64 and dropping. Major eye roll. So I walked over to the grocery store and grabbed a gatorade and drank half of it. 45 minutes later, my blood sugar was finally 112 and had a single arrow going up, so it was increasing. I went through my first circuit and checked my blood sugar, expecting it to be a little high from the gatorade and it was 80 and dropping. AGAIN.

So I chugged the rest of the gatorade, unwilling to compromise my planned workout just because of my blood sugar. So I waited. And waited. After 35 minutes, I was 109, slowly going up, but still going up. I went ahead and started my next circuit and called it afterwards. When I was done my blood sugar was 124. By the time I got home 15 minutes later, it was 156 with a single arrow going up again.

It doesn’t always make sense. And it doesn’t always work out perfectly. Actually, it usually never works out exactly how I think it will. And I respond differently every time to the exact same thing.

But I do know 1 thing, waiting for almost an hour and a half to get my workout done is worth it. My blood sugar hovering around 100 most of the time makes it all worth it. It’s hard, frustrating, and complicated, but I would never compromise my health and exercise for my time.

So for those of you who aren’t exercising because of fear of hypoglycemia or fear because who knows what the heck is going to happen, I GET IT. I hear you. It is scary. And it’s annoying. And it’s an unknown every single time you exercise. But I do promise that carrying around some glucose tablets and/or a gatorade, talking to your doctor about how to begin an exercise program, it will be so much better long-run.

The rainbow comes after the storm, remember that.

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November 23, 2019: My pump broke

First off, let me tell y’all… Frozen 2 is AMAZING.

For the past few days, I noticed that the ring on my reservoir that kept it in place was coming loose and would dangle on my tubing. I could snap it back in place but it would eventually come loose again. Well, on Friday, Medtronic sent out an email for a safety notice for that exact problem. People were reporting the plastic below the ring and the ring itself to be cracking and coming loose.

I deemed it okay for a few days until I could call Medtronic and make sure I didn’t have to pay for it, or at least not a ton of money.

But then my reservoir came out because the ring and totally snapped.

So this changed things. I ended up calling Medtronic right after Frozen 2 was over and before I was on my way out to babysit. I told them exactly what had happened and they actually ended up sending me a new pump for free as it was a manufacturing issue. Great news, great customer service, good experience all around.

But it was also scary. What if they told me I had to deal with it? What they told me I’d have to pay for a new pump? Would I be able to get a new pump or would I have to go back on shots for a while? Do I even have syringes with me? How will it effect my numbers?

I had put in a new sensor before the movie audit warms dup during the movie so while I was on the phone with Medtronic I was trying to calibrate it but the thing wouldn’t accept the calibration.

At this point I’m still on the phone with Medtronic, taking my sensor out, grabbing supplies to put a new sensor in, and I’m already 5 minutes late to babysit.

My point being that sometimes it feels like when it rains, it pours. Deal with things one at a time, put life on hold until you have what you need for your diabetes, take a breath, and then keep going. You’ll be more successful when you slow down, breathe, and fix it one at a time.

Finish with Medtronic.

Take the sensor out.

Grab supplies.

Go babysit.

And everything was okay.

My numbers didn’t drop below 66 and didn’t go above 124 today. Almost like I’m not even diabetic.

Maybe my pump broke, but I didn’t. And that’s what kept me okay.

Things happen,

HP

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November 22, 2019: Find my Friends

Have you heard of the app, Find my Friends?

It’s basically a tracking app. You can allow your friends/contacts in your phone to be able to see your location for a certain period of time or indefinitely.

After my diagnosis, my mom had me share my location with her. I did NOT take that well. I fought it and defied it for as long as I could. I already felt like I had lost so much of my independence getting diagnosed just a couple of months after being able to drive and not feeling like I have my own space was a lot. I felt like I never just had my time to myself but eyes were always on me and I needed time and space to hide.

Once I got to college, I didn’t care as much. I had my own space, my own people, my own places to hide. I actually started using it with my friends. It was smart for going out or traveling so if I knew my friend was going somewhere I could be sure to make sure she was making it okay. Or if I hadn’t heard from my friend in a while and knew they had gone out, I could figure out where she was.

I’m so glad that I use it now and my friends do too. I’m glad for all the reasons that I stated above, but I’m also glad because if I were in a weird place or if my friends didn’t hear from and could find where I was, I trust them that they would bring snacks and my supplies just in case something had happened with my diabetes.

It’s turned from my worst nightmare to one of my greatest blessings. I know that I have people watching my back and making sure that I’m okay.

So parents, I do think there is a middle ground. I do think there has to be compromise in each direction. Because yes, it is smart to have this app for your child with type 1 diabetes, but it’s also important for your child to be independent with their diabetes. They should still grow like every other child and their diabetes shouldn’t confine them. So have a conversation, have the app, but also respect their space to learn too.

HP

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November 21, 2019: Diabetes Dogs

About 10 months after my diagnosis, we adopted our sweet Maggie Mae, a stray dog that me, my mom, and my step-dad fell in love with pretty much instantly. Thinking back on my last two years of high school, I spent A LOT of time with Maggie. I think of watching shows before bed with my parents and I would lay on the ground with Maggie. She would lay in bed with me until I would fall asleep and then she would hop off and sleep on the ground.

If you have diabetes or if your child has diabetes, you know all about the 2am wake up and check blood sugar thing. That lasted for a while, bless my mom, honestly. My ‘honeymoon’ phase, where my pancreas is still producing some insulin before it completely shuts down, it lasted for what seemed like forever. So there was a period of time that I was dropping low what felt like every night. Dropping even into the 40s. Sometimes I would wake myself up, sweating and my heart racing and I know what was happening. But there were times I didn’t wake up. My body didn’t have the internal alarm yet.

Maggie woke me up. She would jump back up on my bed and lick me and nudge my with her nose and head until I would wake up.

We always thought what a God send… she was a miracle dog!! We figured she had to have smelled something different about me and knew it was wrong. As if she had noticed what I smelled like normally and then got conditioned to how I smelled when my blood sugar was low and it was bad. She learned so fast.

It wasn’t until I got to college that I learned that service dogs for people with diabetes was actually a thing. These dogs are trained to smell hypoglycemia, just as Maggie and learned to do.

Unfortunately, these dogs typically cost about $35-40,000.

There are non-profits that help with the financial burden of these service dogs which is AMAZING. And I honestly don’t know what the process with insurance is or would be, but the fact that out of pocket it would cost a years salary blow my mind.

All I know is that Maggie has saved my life, who knows if I would’ve woken up all those nights that she did it for me. But thank you, Jesus, for giving me a dog who has a diabetic sense. I genuinely feel so blessed by her and that somehow she ended up in my life.

So if you’re looking for organizations to donate to or volunteer with, consider finding your local diabetes dog trainer. There are options to volunteer, be a foster home, or make a donation to help people who do have diabetes be able to afford a dog that could help save their life.

 

We are undeserving of dogs.

 

HP

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November 20, 2019: Why are you eating cookies if you’re diabetic?

BECAUSE. I. CAN.

It’s not uncommon that if I’m out somewhere with someone who I’ve met recently or who doesn’t know me super well and if I eat chocolate, have a drink, or eat anything like dessert, I’ll get asked about it because I am diabetic.

I realize that even prior to my diagnosis that I didn’t understand the different between type 1 and type 2 diabetes, but that’s also why I’m trying to educate people now.

The only thing that I cannot have is sugar-sweetened beverages. I can’t have regular coke or soda. I can’t have sparkling grape juice, apple juice, orange juice, or anything that isn’t diet/sugar-free. This is because these drinks are typically consumed in a shorter period of time and are essentially just sugar, so a simple carbohydrate. These items and ones similar hit the bloodstream more quickly than insulin can so it will cause a rapid spike and then a rapid crash.

There are some drinks like lattes, flavored coffee, milkshakes, that do have sugar, but because they are typically consumed more slowly, then it’s easier on the body so that the insulin and carbs will still hit at relatively the same time.

So cookies, cake, ice cream, dessert is still okay. It just needs to be taken into account with insulin and shouldn’t be taken overboard.

So, no, I shouldn’t eat 6 Oreos, but 1-2 is okay. I shouldn’t eat 4 scoops of ice cream but one is okay. It’s all about moderation just like everything in life.

But I can guarantee that if I’m eating a cookie and you tell me I shouldn’t be because I’m diabetic, I’ll eat two.

 

HP

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November 19, 2019: Concerts, Games, Events

Within a year of my diagnosis, I went to a Train concert with my mom and our family friends. Because it was so close to my diagnosis, I had packed a bag with all the snacks my doctor had recommended for lows because I was dropping a lot.

When we got to the concert, we pulled out my doctor’s note saying I have type 1 diabetes and should have the following with me, including snacks. The workers at the entrance wouldn’t let me go. I showed them my note, all my supplies and everything. Ultimately, they weren’t going to let me in with my snacks and supplies.

I ended up giving them bag and they said I could come get it if I needed it but that I would have to leave. They said that I couldn’t bring my snacks for lows in because the amphitheater offered similar snacks, or the same snacks.

Mind you, the snacks I had brought were an apple juice, glucose tablets, and peanut butter crackers.

When we got in, my mom and I went to the concession stand and found coke, cotton candy, popcorn, chips, and candy bars. We took pictures.

We ended up contacting the social worker who we met in the hospital and sent in papers to say we were prepared to sue Tuscaloosa Amphitheater for not allowing me to take in my medical supplies. They eventually folded and changed their policies.

If you’ve been to an event lately, you know that the clear bag policy is a big thing now. So I bought a little bag that I can put my meter and supplies in case I need it. When packing for a concert or a game, I typically take my meter and then depending on what I’m doing, I take an extra infusion set just in case. I’ve had diabetes long enough that I don’t feel like for a few hours event I have to have my specific snacks, but if it’s a longer event, I still pack them. I have the philosophy that I shouldn’t be forced to pay outlandish money for a bag of chips to get my blood sugar up.

It’s a pain, to plan everything out and to know that I’ll hold up the line as they inspect my bag. It’s frustrating, but I’m glad for that first experience knowing that I ultimately hold the power. They can’t reject me because of my medical condition. But it might take some conversation and education and work.

 

So never leave without what you need and know that you have everyRIGHT to bring it.

 

Plus they have cute clear bags now,

 

HP

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November 18, 2019: Does it hurt?

I’ve always been open to people watching me prick my finger, give myself a shot, or inject an infusion set. And it never fails that when someone watches for the first time, I get the same question:

Does it hurt?

 

I used to say no. At the beginning, I would say no or just a little. I didn’t want people to know that I flinched from the pain so I would say the loud pop of putting in an infusion set was why I jumped. Though I was welcoming it, I already had people gawking at me shoving a needle in my body, I didn’t want to seem weak.

 

Eventually, when it seemed like enough time had passed, I changed my answer to a shrug and saying that you get used to it. But imagine that. I have to put a needle in myself often enough that it no longer hurts? That’s horrible. I’m so used to feeling the needle intrude my skin that the pain no longer exists?

That phase lasted a while, but I eventually moved on to say that I get used to it hurting. Finally, on the path to truth and honesty. And this isn’t wrong. You do get used to the fact that you have to do things multiple times a day and it hurts. You get used to the hurt. You get used to feeling the pain of it. While this is true, it’s dismissive.

I’ve finally gotten to a point in my journey where I’m brutally honest in my answer: Yes, it hurts. Every time. Honestly, there are times I want to look back at the person and say, “Well does it hurt when you have a needle go into your skin at a high velocity?” I try not to.  But yes. It hurts. And it’s not a diminishing effect. The pain I felt from my last finger prick, my last infusion set injection, it hurt the same amount as the first time.

So when you see your loved one doing these things, encourage them. Tell them you’re proud. Because can you imagine the strength it takes to willingly inflict pain upon yourself multiple times a day to keep yourself alive? A LOT.

It hurts when my tubing of my pump gets tugged on the kitchen drawer. It hurts when I wake up and have been sleeping right on my infusion set. It hurts when my infusion set gets yanked out. It hurts when my clothes snag the adhesive. It hurts when I hit muscle on an injection. It hurts to give insulin, it burns. Diabetes hurts. It’s not an easy-go-lucky disease. This disease goes after you! You’ve got to buckerup, buttercup because you’ve gotta deal with not liking shots or needles or blood.

Don’t ask if it hurts, of course it hurts. Say how proud you are of their strength. Say how you admire them. Say you love them and wish you could take it from them, say anything, but don’t ask if it hurts.

 

It always does.

 

HP

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November 17, 2019: Health

I’m currently getting my Master’s in Health and Exercise Science at Wake Forest University and I got my Bachelor’s in Exercise Science as well. I’ve spent the last 5.5 years diving into what health means and what we can do to reduce our risk of disease by moving our bodies and adjusting what we put into our bodies.

One thing I’ve realized more recently is how blessed I’ve been by my education and exposure to information about health growing up. I used to think that everyone had the same knowledge about their health leading up to college. Everyone knew we should be taking in around 2,000 calories a day, we should exercise regularly, sugar isn’t great, and mental health is just as important. But boy was I wrong.

It’s actually shocking how little our society knows about health. About what different diseases actually are, what risk factors are, what leads to having risk factors, and etc. We, as a society, really don’t know a whole lot about what we’re doing to our bodies… until it happens.

I didn’t know what type 1 diabetes was until I got it. I asked if I could eat a baked potato right before going to the hospital because I was scared the doctor there would tell me I could never eat carbs again. I knew general health guidelines in the sense of not eating a lot of sugar or friend foods, getting good exercise, and you’d be good. It was after my diagnosis, when I don’t look or act the part of “diabetes,” that I realized health is so much more complex than we give it credit. I started to try to figure out why I got diabetes, which made me figure out what causes type 2 diabetes, and so on.

I come from the perspective now of encouraging health education more widely, but I also recognize that unfortunately, we aren’t there. We are focused on medications that put a band-aid on a risk factor or a disease rather than actually doing something about it before it’s a problem. I also know I can’t be made or frustrated with my participants who don’t know any better. It’s not their fault that they don’t know. But it is our fault as a society that we’ve come to this point.

I realize that this is a weird post coming from someone who could never have prevented my disease and can’t do anything to cure it now. However, type 1 diabetes has made me dive deeper into the health and medical field and how we handle disease.

From someone who can’t so anything about my life-threatening disease, please do everything you can to educate yourself and your loved ones about what you can do to help prevent the diseases that you can.

 

HP

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November 16, 2019: JDRF One Walk

I really feel speechless. I’m not quite sure how to express all of the gratitude in my heart for all of the support I got for the Walk today. For each of you that donated, please know you hold a dear piece of my heart and words will never suffice in how thankful and blessed I feel.

I arrived early to the Walk to set up my table to promote my research and was given SO MUCH GRACE! It was a terribly windy morning and the coordinator was so wonderful to plan out that my table would be right after the advocacy table. However, it was right in the war path, so I ended up moving closer to the stadium we were at. With the help of multiple staff and volunteers, I finally got all of my stuff set up!

Advertising and the walk went really well and it eventually warmed up for this Southern girl, but what I want to focus on is a little deeper than a couple of miles.

I’ve spent the last 6 years trying to make sure no one around me knew I was diabetic unless I had to. So I was really branching out in college to do research and promote a disease I didn’t want. And since then, I’ve been more vocal about my struggles. I’m more open about what it’s really like because people should know. But I NEVER want sympathy. I’m independent and am a great diabetic, I don’t want people feeling obligated to help me or try to understand what my life is like.

But for my friends to wake up early on a Saturday, a cold and windy Saturday at that, to walk with me just because they know it’s important to me. I really am tearing up writing this. I’m so touched and feel so loved.

It’s like the same realization that God doesn’t leave when bad things happen, He’s there for the whole journey. I took this gesture as my friends telling me that no, they don’t get it, but they’re with me. Walking this journey of life with me. I to feel like you’re not alone is SO. POWERFUL.

So today was the best day. To own my life and to walk through it with some of my best friends. I’m just speechless. From the very bottom of my heart, thank you , thank you, thank you.

 

All my love,

 

HP

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November 15, 2019: Stress

I’ve been gone from Winston Salem about the same amount of time that I’ve been in Winston Salem within the past month or so. I’m definitely at a point of hitting a wall and just trying to make it through each day knowing that it’s one day closer to Christmas Break.

As I’ve talked about in previous posts, traveling is stressful with diabetes. And I’ve been traveling a lot, and honestly not good travels either. I’ve toured 3 schools looking at PhD programs. I’ve started working on a new research study with the Provost and gosh those meetings I even dress up for cause there’s so much pressure. I’ve edited my IRB 3 times. My IRB finally got approved last week. I have to do my thesis proposal this Friday, so short notice. And my PhD applications are due next week and I haven’t completely narrowed down my list. I’m tired. And I’m overwhelmed. And I’m STRESSED.

We all have different reasons to be stressed. We live in a society that says stress is a good thing, unfortunately. And stress impacts your blood sugar, so I want to tell you how I combat it when times get tough, like now.

I have a theory that as adrenaline and noradrenaline increase, so does blood sugar. My reasoning is that your body is releasing it’s fight or flight hormones and releasing glucose, or making glucose available, means that the body can use it for energy at any time needed. So as we get stressed and these hormones are released, it makes sense for blood sugar to increase as well.

When I get really stressed, I try to remember other little things that usually accompany stress that also tend to increase my blood sugar. Things like not getting enough sleep, not exercising, not eating well, etc. So when I do find myself in times like these, I set a strict limit for myself that I have to go to bed when I would get at least 7 hours of sleep. For every meal, I try to tell myself that maybe I want pizza or takeout, something easy and quick and not time consuming, but I will ultimately feel better if I make my dinner for 20-30 minutes and it’ll be worth it long run. In terms of working out, I will always restructure what I’m doing to take 45 AT MAX so that I can tell myself it’s worth it. Whether it’s a run or a circuit workout or going kickboxing for a session, I can spare 30-45 minutes doing something that will benefit my health. I know I won’t work straight and will spend 30-45 minutes doing something else and it’d be better to workout than sit on my phone.

So, friends, if your numbers are starting to run high around finals week, that’s normal. But there are things you can do to combat that stress effect. I know it feels like you need to stay up that extra hour, spend all your time studying, and just want comfort food, but I PINKY PROMISE it’s worth it to take care of yourself.

 

Also, breathe.

HP

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